


Charmed Meets Harry Potter (On Crack)

by KokoroJunnayai



Series: Charmed Meets [6]
Category: Charmed, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack-ness, Gen, This is what happens when you stay up until four AM, With Cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KokoroJunnayai/pseuds/KokoroJunnayai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's cheerful, Hermione knows Tv Tropes, Ron is clueless, Chris is a troll and Wyatt can't keep secrets. </p><p>Or, Charmed Meets Harry Potter (On Crack).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charmed Meets Harry Potter (On Crack)

"We've just got to find out what those new American students are up to!" Harry declared one particular day at Hogwarts.   
  
From her seat next to her friend in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione frowned, not glancing up from the large book in her hands.  
  
"Harry, I'm surprised you aren't more concerned with what Malfoy's up to." She said.  
  
Breaking out of his determined face and lowering the fist he'd raised dramatically, Harry blinked.  
  
"What?"  
  
Beside Hermione in an equally comfy armchair, his lap covered in empty scrolls (homework that he was procrastinating) Ron poked his head out and said,  
  
"Yeah, Harry. Haven't you noticed him being all 'sneaky' and skipping classes and acting suspicious and whatnot?"  
  
Now the Boy Who Lived just shook his head, rolling his eyes at his friends.  
  
"Please, Ron, this is much more important." He said as though it were obvious. "Malfoy can wait."  
  
Since this was a phrase that had never, ever ever passed Harry's lips, since he'd been certain that it would never ever pass his lips, Ron gaped at his mental best friend. Finally Hermione's eyes flew from her book to the black-haired boy.  
  
"Um, Harry...a-are you feeling alright?" She asked.  
  
"What? 'Course I am!"  
  
"No, mate, you're not." Ron disagreed, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. Though Harry was shooting them both seriously annoyed looks, they didn't stop with their silly pestering.  
  
"You're acting weird, Harry. L-like...like someone is twisting your character for the sake of a plot!"  
  
To Ron she whispered, "Should we take him to Madam Pomfrey?"  
  
"Oi! I heard that!" A sigh. "Guys, I'm fine. I promise."  
  
They smiled and nodded helpfully, but it was easy to tell that they didn't believe him. Again, Harry rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.  
  
"Alright, yeah, my parents are dead, my aunt and uncle hate me, and I watched Cedric die, and all my parental figures are destined to be killed off, and Ron's brother is gonna die," He ignored Ron's sputtering and continued on, almost cheerfully. "And eventually I'll have to let Voldemort kill me so I can stop him...but other than that, I'm completely fine! I swear!"  
  
If they'd been shocked before, that was nothing compared to now; their eyes were as wide as saucers, and their jaws were laying on the floor.  
  
"W-w-what... w-what was that about dying, Harry?"  
  
"A-and the bit about my brother?"  
  
Harry blinked hard as though coming out of a deep trance, sat back down, and gave them the Irritated-Look once more. This was knowledge from outside of time and space, and the author hadn't meant to let it get out, so of course he wasn't going to remember.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Y-you just said..."  
  
"Oh, right!" He grinned, raising his fist dramatically again. "We must stop the Americans! They are evil and are polluting the school with their...American...ness...Come on, Ron! Hermione! We must go...TO THE LIBRARY!"  
  
The two friends did a face-palm in unison. This was their hope to defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and he was more interested in innocent transfer students than his proclaimed nemesis Draco. Oh well. Goodbye, wizarding world. 

Then they slowly got up and followed their friend out of the common room and into the hall.  
"We're going to regret this, aren't we?" Ron muttered miserably to the girl beside him.  
  
The bushy-haired girl sighed and nodded.  
  
"I'm afraid we're stuck in a crack!fic, so yes."  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
"How didja know they were in the library, Harry?" Ron asked, flabbergasted.  
  
With a simple shrug, Harry began to walk over to them.  
  
"Well, the plot revolves around us, doesn't it? We were going to run into them sooner or later."  
  
"What is it with you and Hermione? What's this 'plot' you keep talking about? And why –"  
  
"Ron! Questions are for later." He chided his red-headed friend. "We wouldn't want readers to get bored, would we?"  
  
Without waiting for a response from his best friend, he purposefully stepped in front of the two American transfer students, grinning and waving as sickingly cheerful as Colin Creevey. Unseen behind him, the Weasley blanched. What had actually happened to Harry was something Ron was beginning to think he didn't want to know.  
  
"B-But wait! Harry, what readers? What are –"  
  
But his protests went unheard. It wasn't new, exactly, just bothersome.  
  
"Hello, there!" Harry said cheerfully, peering down at the two boys sitting at a table covered in books. They both looked up – though only the blond one smiled at him.  
  
"Oh, hello!" He waved back, grinning, and Harry was suddenly struck with the image of a golden retriever. Well, at least he knew what his Patronus would be.  
  
The silent one, the boy with brown hair, green eyes, and, though Harry didn't know it yet, a sarcastic attitude, nodded his head politely. When he thought the Boy Who Lived was looking away, he rolled his eyes. Other than their introduction a few weeks prior, they and Harry hadn't actually spoken before just two seconds ago; he'd been too busy spying on them. It was rather rude, if he said so himself.   
  
Deciding to just go the front approach, he blurted out,  
  
"I'm Harry Potter, and I was just wondering if you have any evil schemes you'd like to share with me!"  
  
If it had been an anime Hermione would've collapsed; as if was, she turned beet red at his forwardness. That was not the way to be subtle. Ron began to mutter about how his life used to be fun and peaceful.

Poor, poor sidekicks.   
  
"Well, I'm Wyatt Halliwell...and evil schemes? Hmm...I don't think we've got any evil schemes going right now, do we, Chris?" He turned to the boy in the seat next to him, and with another roll of his eyes the brown-haired teen – Chris – shook his head. Because he would know. Apparently.  
  
Wyatt turned back to face Harry and shrugged helplessly. With a sigh, Harry shrugged back, in a 'what can you do' sort of way, as though it were a great tragedy that they weren't cooking up any plans for him to foil. Really, if they weren't evil or up to something mischievous, what was his purpose in the story? Then the puppy-boy perked up.  
  
"Ooh, we do have a plan to hide our secret identity as Wiccan witches, keep an eye on the students, and then maybe try to take out Lord Voldemort? Right, Chris? Wasn't that the plan?"  
  
Chris's left eye twitched.  
  
"Well, that _was_ the plan." He replied through gritted teeth. The other American looked properly ashamed – for all of three seconds. Suddenly Chris let out a breath and relaxed, resting his head in his palms, which in turn rested on a precarious stack of magic books.  
"I suppose that plot's a bit cliché though, isn't it?" He mused. Others nodded, agreeing, and Wyatt even had the nerve to seem proud. Had he not blundered into giving it away, they would've been stuck in an unoriginal story, and everybody knows you simply can't have that.   
  
Unfortunately, that was the last straw – finally, Ron broke.  
  
"Sorry, but what...in the bloody hell...DO YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT? What 'plot'?! What 'readers'?! We are not in a book!"  
  
The Chosen One looked to Hermione, who looked to the Twice Blessed One (though she didn't know it), who looked to his smarter little brother, who merely laughed. None were too enthusiastic about explaining. However, Christopher Halliwell was all about taunting...and taunt he did.  
  
"Poor Ronald Weasley," The red-head stiffened at hearing his full name. "The Powers of the Fourth Wall simply aren't with you."  
  
"But what is the fourth wall?!" He demanded in frustration.  
  
But Chris was already shaking his head, something that was actually hard to do when it was already resting in his hands.  
  
"Sorry, Ron. Explaining it would be shatter it all to pieces and we can't have that. I've afraid we're only allowed to refer to it in passing. Hm...well, I'm sure there's a book in here," He freed a hand to gesture to the expansive library.  
  
"On the Fourth Wall. Just for you."  
  
"Actually, there is." Hermione interrupted. "It's called The Fourth Wall, A History, and it's on the top shelf of the third row. In the middle, next to Hogwarts, A History. They were written by the same person."  
  
All four boys gaped at her.  
  
"What?" She asked defensively. "It's completely in my character to know that!"  
  
"I suppose." Chris responded, his tone doubtful.  
  
"Aren't we supposed to go to class soon..." Ron mumbled pathetically as he trudged towards the third row, per Hermione's instructions. Though both Hermione and the author took pity on the character fandom so loved to hate (why?), neither did anything, instead watching with giggles as he kept muttering to himself like a crazy person.  
  
"Well...what now?" The muggle-born questioned, meeting Harry's equally puzzled eyes.  
  
"Um...I don't think the author planned this far." Chris answered. "Terrible writer, she is."  
  
Suddenly a lightening bolt struck, in the middle of a sunny day in a library, and hit the table a few feet from where Chris sat. The author beamed as he shut his mouth with a snap.  
  
"Don't anger the narrator." Wyatt advised, perhaps, a little too late.  
  
"Yeah. I'm getting that."  
  
The younger Halliwell crossed his arms and put his heels up on the table, preparing to sulk indefinitely from the author's attack. The author was alright with this, as sulking-Chris was very adorable, and let the insult to her writing ability go.   
  
"Well, I for one would like to complain about being completely out-of-character!" Harry spoke up abruptly, frowning at the sky. Or rather, where the sky would be if they weren't inside.  
  
"Yes, you were a bit cheery, weren't you?" His friend commented.  
  
Instantly, the Chosen One whipped his head around and glared at her, making her cower under Chris's table a little. It made Chris snort and Wyatt giggle.  
  
"What do you mean I was 'cheery'? Am I not normally?!"  
  
"Frankly, Harry...you being cheerful scares me."  
  
"Oi!"  
  
"W-well, its true."  
  
Suddenly there was a loud sound of something breaking, something that made a noise like the tinkling of glass falling onto the floor. The group all jumped, glancing around in confusion for the source of it. No one was quite sure what had happened until Hermione groaned from underneath the table...  
  
"Oh, no, I think that was Ron. And I think he just broke the Fourth Wall."  
  
And all four opened their mouths and they screamed, as though they were in a cheesy horror film. Then the world collapsed.


End file.
